situation gets rough and i start to panic

opened the kiln with the first official works completed and immediately shut it.  not sure why its electric the glazes were tested/ what i wanted and aside from some sort of electronic meltdown, that did not occur, they were gonna turn out like i knew they would.  and they were fine, actually they are more than fine, they’re good.  they still need the obligatory sit around time while i decide what part of the surface to sandblast and make sure the working titles indeed work for the work.

i was being to hard on myself, as an artist it comes with the territory and so does the neurosis and overthinking it all.   however this time i think i hit the nail on the proverbial head.   in a world with the internet of things and the ability to constantly alert all to your emotional state, your location, your goings on, your rants/raves i find myself sometimes wanting to waste all of my time and scream out all of the above and more. its as if this constant need to let all know “what is up” seems to straddle the line of narcissism, hero worship and voyeurism.  I realize that none of that matters as 99% of the time there just fleeting thoughts inside my head and people either misread, read into entirely different meaning than intended or bring it up after the fact to the detriment of progress, not to mention i would rather get stuff done.

there are those who want to play and those who want to watch, i fall into the latter category.

As metaphors go both sports and music have the best but i prefer music to sports and in the working out my problems i was reminded of the big boys fun fun fun video- at the very end on a piece of paper are the words “now go out and start your own band!!!” which in a way is what i did.  and to continue the musical anecdote, “i did it my way” so as i regroup from a few months of intermittent serious work and play, refocus and realize that part of the struggle when i decided to set up my own studio is trial and error, success and letting go.

 

can you hear them they talk about us

can you hear them they talk about us

 

one of the first pieces out  slightly out of focus (which is the asshole reminder that i need to get my eyes checked) and yet to be sandblasted.